?

If lovers live forever,
are you and I immortal?

Would you bloom at night
if the sun was out?

Why isn’t it ever understood that birth control helps saving the unborn from this world of filth?

If less is more -
Why aren’t you ever satisfied with the green on your side?

Do windows suffer
from an inferiority complex when they see a door?

If no two finger prints match,
Have you checked to believe so?

Do the sheep feel cold
when you’re wearing a sweater?

Why is there racism
if black makes a statement?

Is the lipstick on your collar - a message
for me, or just plain ignorance?

Why would you give my heart an ailment
when my blood is so pure?

If I play dead,
will you play mourn?

If I sleep with you,
will you call me your virgin tomorrow?

Are you a sadist
if you smile at a rainbow’s perpetual
frown?

Hey, I happened on this blog, where Mr. Anil Pinto says that he thinks it is the first of its kind, the first time, at least in India, that blogs are being used for 'educational purposes'. We started with Ramya's batch, which was a long time ago, but the difference is that here each class uses the same blog, I think. But it's a tad too formal for my liking. Check it out though. And I think the links are useful. See if you guys want to swank up our blog!
http://anilpinto.blogspot.com/

A piece of info.

Please read the following carefully:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

* In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

* There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

* In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

* By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

* During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

* Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
-- Officials said.

INVICTUS by William Ernest Henley

INVICTUS


Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

CHUDDY-MAN (based on true events)

After hours of practicing on his brand new Ibanez guitar, he decided to call it a night. fingers raw from all the strumming, he seemed dazed and confused. he looked at his watch and saw that it was past 2:00 am in the morning. "I better hit the sack", he thought if he had to catch an early morning bus to whitefield. he tucked his bottle green Ibanez guitar into the case , switched off the lights, and flopped into bed. drifting...drifting into deep slumber when suddenly his mothers face appeared in his head
"you left the bike outside you moron!..im gonna kill you in the morning!".
with that he jerked out of bed, ran down stairs, opened the door with such force and stepped outside into the freezing cold.
"hmmm..", he thought. the bike was parked inside , everything seemed to be fine. he turned around only to be greeted by the firmly shut door.
"crap!.. its 2:00 am, and im stuck outside" but then he suddenly realised that he wasnt just stuck outside at 2:00 am in the freezing cold, he was stuck outside at 2:00 am in the freezing cold wearing nothing but his brown chuddies!.
he started to pace in the porch. he decided to go ahead and ring the doorbell. he hits it the first time...no answer..the second time...still no answer and then finally one last time.
he hears footsteps raging down the stairs, a woman screaming "its 2:00 am in the bloody morning...im gonna kill you, you son-of-a-bi"
she opened the door, her face contorted with rage and then suddenly, she calmed down. she had opened the door to her half naked son standing, covering his nipples and giving a sheepish smile.
"hi mom!"
"we will speak about this in the morning"
with that they all hit the sack. the next day at the dining table, she turned to him and yelled, "what the hell were you doing outside at 2:00 am in the bloody morning, in your bloody underwear!?". he stood up, gave another sheepish smile and left for the door passing by his sister who had burst out into uncontrolable laughter.

Living My Dream Now!!

Most 3 year olds draw. I wrote. It began with pages and pages of scrawls and scribbles of trying to imitate my Mother's handwriting. By the age of 6 i began writing my own stories. Of princesses and princes, of evil and good, of golden apples and swords. I lived an a world of fantasy. A world that i created myself by my writing. Upon been questioned at the age of 9 on what i want to be when i grow up, my answer was obvious: An Author!
"That's not a profession! Why don't you be a doctor. You love Science too."
That's the reply I received from all my uncles and aunts. Ah well, I did focus on Science. I stopped writing.
Quite a few years passed and I was stuck on Science. I aced in Biology and decided that i would go into that field.

It happened in a boring 3 hour chemistry class. I was not able to concentrate on polymers and synthetic fibres and whatever the teacher was raving about. ( No offence to chemistry lovers). That's when i put my pen to paper and began writing again. That day, I just wrote and wrote and wrote. I don't remember what i wrote about but it was anything and everything that came to my mind. I felt happy and free. At the end of the hour, my teacher comes up to me and after patting me on the head, says, "Genevieve, it's good to see you paying attnention and taking notes in class. " If only she knew!

Till the last day of my ISC board exams my mind was set on pursuing Science. The very next day, my focus completely shifted. I still don't know how but i had decided to take up mass communication. My parents are cool when it comes to me choosing my own career. My reltaives were all surprised though. Actually, i'm the one who's surprised the most.

Well, things turned out for the best. I got admission into the Communicative English course at Mount Carmel College and I've started working on my first book. :)

2 years ago, my Grand- mother had opened up to me and told me that she wished for her biography to be written by one of her chidren. I'm fulfilling that wish. My first book is the biography of my grand mom. My dream as of now is to see this book published. For her. For the people who will be touched reading her story and know that there is still hope for those who have lost all. My dream is to make a difference to people and I know that one way I can do it is through my writing.

I'm living my dream now.

Advice: Don't loaf on this lane

This filthy, all-purpose lane is a total attendance grabber. With a whiff of freshly squeezed orange juice and the sound of motorcars and the buzzing of bees, the busy latecomers who return from the sight of locked classroom doors grab a warm cup of coffee or a refreshing plate of cut fruit. These groups of rejected women gather around the dirty footpaths engaging in their lengthy, chitter-chatter early morning rants.

The now faded orange juice aroma is usurped by a cow who decided to do her perfumery business for the day, swishing her semi wet tail as if the cool wind were her natural hair/tail dryer. Insistent flies of course find their daily hub as Mrs. Moo moves on to house many more of them.

Vegetable sellers, turn on their vocal chords for the day screaming reasonable prices despite the heavy recession. Pharmacies burst with fresh orders of pregnancy tests, tampons and contraception as the cafes clear up the half finished idly’s and the left over sambar bowls, in the midst of planning lunch menus for the day. Cars and bikes hustle their way through a measly path flooded with living creatures the size of a fly to an enormous cow and everything else between them.

I took myself here on hearing that the shortest route to the other side of the road would be through this lane. It's certainly not the shortest route of most pleasant sights, sounds and smells.

Change, please

Someone, please change the look of the blog; how about brighter/more dramatic colour ?and a slightly larger font?

Writing

' A poet can endure anything. Which amounts to saying that a human being can endure anything. Except that its not true:there are obviously limits to what a human being can endure. Really endure. A poet, on the other hand, can endure anything. We grew up with this conviction. The opening assertion is true, but that way lie ruin, madness, and death."

From Roberto Bolano's "Enrique Martin"

3..2..1..boom.

"Waiter, could you bring us some wa.."
Bang.Bang Bang.
Just like that.
At 9.18 p.m on the November 26Th, several areas of Mumbai experienced terror attacks including the Taj hotel, the Oberoi Trident,Nariman house and Chhatrapati Shivaji terminus. Now it's 7.05 p.m of the 27Th and the terror continues. It seems almost surreal. Like something out of a movie or a particularly bad dream. But the reality of it is, is that all this is happening.
More than a hundred innocent people have died in this incident and the numbers seem to rise every hour. People are still being held hostage at the hotels not counting the guests locked up in their hotel rooms.I read the numbers,I saw the bomb blasts,I heard the gun shots.But nothing prepared me for this image: At about 5.30 p.m, a man wearing a white shirt was waving and screaming for help from a window at the Oberoi Trident. This man, with no contact to the outside world, has been stuck in that room for almost twenty-four hours. 998 kilometers away, I shivered. It was a unbelievable and horrifying sight. To even imagine the state of this person and the other hostages is too much to bear. And remember, we're nearly a thousand kilometers away.
Boom.Boom.Boom.
A group calling themselves the Deccan Mujahideen has taken responsibility for this attack. They entered these two grand landmarks of Mumbai and fired indiscriminately upon front office and kitchen staff as well as guests.

What reason could they possibly have to inflict such terror?And is any reason good enough?

THE LION

oh, weep for Mr. and Mrs.Bryan !
he was eaten by a lion;
following which,
the lions lioness
up and swallowed Bryan's Bryaness..!!
lol..

The Night

Shuffling of leaves beyond the mist of the night. Shadows engulf images and whispers penetrate walls. Moonlight ravenously cuts through curtained windows. Howling dogs continue without concern. Gentle breaths fill bedrooms. Sometimes overpowered by the gusts of snores. A scribbling pen joins the night orchestra. Ending with the crescendo of day break.

Question bank for Functional Writing
• Parts of a grasshopper

1. Head: The anterior part of an insect body with eyes, antennae, and mouthparts.
2. Thorax: The body section after the head, with the legs and wings attached. There are three sections of the thorax: the prothorax, the mesothorax, and the metathorax.
3. Abdomen: The posterior section of the body containing the reproductive and digestive organs.
Spiracles: Breathing pores.
4. Coxa: The section of a leg that is attached to the body.
5. Trochanter: The second segment of a leg, between the coxa and the femur.
6. Femur: The third segment of a leg, between the trochanter and the tibia. (Grasshoppers and other jumping insects have enlarged hind femora with powerful muscles).
7. Tibia: The fourth segment of a leg, between the femur and the tarsus.
8. Tarsus: The leg segment after the tibia, often subdivided into several sections.
9. Genitalia: The sexual organs.
10. Wings: Outgrowths of the body wall that enable insects to fly. The first pair of wings is sometimes modified into a protective covering for the hind wings.


• Parts of guns
1. Action: The part of a firearm that loads, fires, and ejects a cartridge. Includes lever action, pump action, bolt action, and semi-automatic.
2. Barrel: The metal tube through which the bullet is fired.
3. Bore: The inside of the barrel. "Smoothbore" weapons (typically shotguns) have no rifling. Most handguns and rifles have "rifling".
4. Breech: The end of the barrel attached to the action.
5. Bullets: The projectile. They are shaped or composed differently for a variety of purposes.
6. Butt or buttstock: The portion of the gun which is held or shouldered.
7. Caliber: The diameter of the bore measured from land to land, usually expressed in hundredths of an inch (.22 cal) or in millimeters (9mm).
8. Cartridge: Also called a "round". Made up of a case, primer, powder, and bullet.
9. Chamber: The portion of the "action" that holds the cartridge ready for firing.
10. Double-action: Pulling the trigger both cocks the hammer and fires the gun.
11. Double barrel: Two barrels side by side or one on top of the other, usually on a shotgun.
12. Hammer: A metal rod or plate that typically drives a firing pin to strike the cartridge primer to detonate the powder.
13. Magazine: This is a device for storing cartridges in a repeating firearm for loading into the chamber.
14. Muzzle: The end of the barrel out of which the bullet comes.
15. Safety: A mechanism on an action to prevent firing of the gun.
16. Sights: The device(s) on top of a barrel that allow the gun to be aimed.
17. Silencer: A device that fits over the muzzle of the barrel to muffle the sound of a gunshot. Most work by baffling the escape of gases.
18. Single-action: The hammer must be manually cocked before the trigger can be pulled to fire the gun.
19. Stock: A wood, metal, or plastic frame that holds the barrel and action and allows the gun to be held firmly.
• Parts of books

1. THE BOARDS: The stiff binding material of a book is called a board. Every book has two boards, a front board and a rear board.
2. THE SPINE: The spine is the book's backbone. Because the spine is generally all you can see when a book is on the shelf, the spine displays the title and author of the book and is often ornately decorated. The top edge of the spine is called the head and the bottom edge the tail.
3. THE HINGE:The hinge is the joint of the binding of a book,
the part that bends when the book is opened.
4. THE EDGES:The edges are the three outer surfaces of the leaves (or pages) of a book.
5. THE END PAPERS (ep): The end papers are the sheets of paper pasted onto the inside of the boards, joining the text block to the covers. One side of the sheet is pasted to the inside cover, the other is left free.
6. THE DUST JACKET (dj): Also known as a dustwrapper (dw) the dust jacket is the (usually) decorative paper wrapper placed around a book for protection.
7. ILLUSTRATIONS: An illustration is a design, picture, plate, plan, diagram, chart, or map printed within the block of the book.
8. A plate is a whole-page illustration printed separately from the text. This book has a intricately illustrated fold-out plate
9. This illustration is printed in the text pages and is therefore called a cut.


• Parts of cars
• The engine
• Vehicle Frame
• Covering body (including interiors in case of four wheelers)
• Suspension, brakes & wheels
Key engine parts:
1. Spark plug
The spark plug supplies the spark that ignites the air/fuel mixture so that combustion can occur. The spark must happen at just the right moment for things to work properly.
2. Valves
The intake and exhaust valves open at the proper time to let in air and fuel and to let out exhaust. Note that both valves are closed during compression and combustion so that the combustion chamber is sealed.
3. Piston
A piston is a cylindrical piece of metal that moves up and down inside the cylinder.
4. Piston rings
Piston rings provide a sliding seal between the outer edge of the piston and the inner edge of the cylinder. The rings prevent the fuel/air mixture and exhaust in the combustion chamber from leaking into the sump during compression and combustion.
They keep oil in the sump from leaking into the combustion area, where it would be burned and lost. Most cars that "burn oil" and have to have a quart added every 1,000 miles are burning it because the engine is old and the rings no longer seal things properly.
5. Connecting rod
The connecting rod connects the piston to the crankshaft. It can rotate at both ends so that its angle can change as the piston moves and the crankshaft rotates.
6. Crankshaft
The crankshaft turns the piston's up and down motion into circular motion just like a crank on a jack-in-the-box does.
7. Sump
The sump surrounds the crankshaft. It contains some amount of oil, which collects in the bottom of the sump (the oil pan).

Model paper, someone please remove to the class email, which is, by the way, what?

BA SEMESTER I EXAMINATION

COMMUNICATIVE ENGLISH

Paper I: Functional Writing

Time: 2 hrs Max. Marks: 50


All questions are compulsory and each carries 5 marks

I. Rewrite as instructed:
• I am glad that Icarus did not leap off the cliff. (Rewrite the sentence starting “ When I heard that Icarus” )
• I cannot trust you to cross the road on your own your hearing has got worse oh dear we forgot your appointment with the ENT( Insert pounctuation)
• “She looked at her daughter in her bridal finery...” complete using the words heart, bird and sings.
• Find another way to say “I am so hungry I could eat a lot”
• Who are you? What do you do? I have not seen you before? What is your occupation? You don’t seem familiar ( Remove sentences which mean the same thing and re-write as a single sentence)

II. Read the following paragraph and answer the questions that follow in a few words or not more than three sentences.

Inspiration

Yes, it exits. Somehow.
To be inspired: we know what it means, even how it sometimes feels, but what is it exactly? Filled suddenly and often helplessly with renewed life and energy, a sense of excitement that can barley be contained; but why some things –a word, a glance, a scene glimpsed from a window, a random memory, a fragrance, a conversational anecdote, a fragment of music, or of a dream – have the power to stimulate us to intense creativity while most others do not, we are unable to say. We all know what it was like to have been inspired, in the past; yet we can’t have faith that we will be inspired in the future. Most writers apply themselves doggedly to their work, hoping that inspiration will return. It can be like striking a damp match again, again, again: hoping a small flame will leap out, before the match breaks.

I think that early Surrealists were right: the world is a ‘forest of signs’ for us to interpret. The visual world contains ‘messages’ beneath its apparent disorder, just as meanings lie beneath the apparent disorder of the dream. Images abound to those who look with reverence, and are primed to see; like the Surrealist photographer Man ray wandering Parisian streets with his camera, anticipating nothing, but leaving himself open to document availability, or chance.


• How, according to the writer, does it mean to be inspired? Use her words
• What do the words “glimpsed” and “random” emphasise?
• Analyse the use of “Somehow” in line one
• Apart from hoping that inspiration will return, what else can a person do, according to the writer, in order to be inspired?
• The author of this essay is a writer of poetry and prose; which lines hep you to identity that?


III. Name 5 parts of a building(Any building).


IV. Fill in the following with a single appropriate describing, doing or naming word.

• Don’t be so -----------------? I thought you were a more -----------------person
• The horse is ------------------; its forefathers are from an illustrious bloodline
• Don’t -------------like a lion in ----------------, you have to learn to stay indoors more often.
• Hmnn, that smells so --------------------, I think I will ---------------into it
• You ------------------, --------------------------rascal, I thought you had more --------------------









V. Write about your hands in five paragraphs, detailing different occasions on which you have been grateful that you had hands.

VI. Match words from group A with their antonyms in group B

A B

Distant Analog
Desolate Angelic
Desperate Proximate
Devilish Happy
Digital Casual


VII. Give stronger versions of the following words
• Anger
• Drizzle
• Irritation
• Bright
• Bad



VIII. Fill in the blnks
A -----------------------is proof that a payment has been made. A --------------proves that the journey has been paid for. A -------------------records many paid into an account. A --------------------makes exchange of bought goods easier. A---------------------stores information in a computer.

IX. Read the following verse and answer the questions that follow, in not more than three sentences

I travelled in the Arab homeland
With only a notebook.
Police stations tossed me about,
And all I had was a sparrow in my pocket
But the officer asked
For the sparrow’s passport.
The word in my country needs a passport.

• What could the sparrow in the poet’s pocket signify?
• Is the poet a free man?
• What does it mean when the poet says that the in his country the word needs a passport?
•



X. What are the following called?
• Someone who is not on the payroll of a college/university but is invited to teach.
• The woman in charge of a girl’s hostel
• A doctor who specialises in making teeth more attractive
• The leaf in a crown of leaves that signifies triumph
• The young of a fish

Love

Love is thoughtful
Love is kind
Love is something
I could always cherish inside

Its not a memory
Its not a lie
Its more than a feeling inside
How much love is cannot be measured
Only told by a kiss & a sweet bye
Which you ask for and i deny

I love you more than words can say
And ill love you till the end of my days
No matter how much you ignore the words I say
Your each line is felt somewhere
Whether your there or not there

You hold my hand & tell me whats in your mind
So i can put the world behind
But it never works each & every time
Nevertheless I will be there for you
Knowing the love we have shall never die
And your kiss may never quench the thirst

Your heart is for what I have fallen & not the looks
Though you scream at me for small things
And make me angry knowingly
Ill always be mad in love with you
Because your the only one who appreciated me
Now your the sweetest thing on my mind

Until it subsides Ill not cry
Why I love you cannot be answered
Only be thought for a millionth time
Seriously I do not know why
Why your the one stuck on my mind

You supported me in my tears
And cajoled me in my sorrows
Maybe I'm a little too hyper
But I cannot help it
Your a little too nice to forget
A little too cute to be left alone

What I only know right now
Is what actually matters to me
i.e. I Love You and You Love me.

[Hey guys,
Please comment critically would want to know what you think of it!]